What Would Happen if Cats Were the Only Animal Existed In the World

Shafayat Hossain
3 min readNov 27, 2019


HINT: Obama’s Nobel would be justified.

Recently the entertainment world has been going crazy upon stressing over cats having opposable thumbs (as shown in David Fincher’s new release). Well, suffice to say, opposable thumbs are everything that a cat needs to obliterate all other animals from the world. But how would a world filled only with cats even look like? Rather the contrary is more lucid to assess, without a shred of doubt.

See, they are cats, and much like their obscene hooman friends, now they want to take over the world as fast as they can. So we are really looking towards a nuclear war on the verge of breaking out, only this time, the threat is real. It’s not Kim Jong-Un against Donald T, but Meow Paw Purr and this cat means business.

Although the cats do not want to remain ONLY as pets, they sure do want to keep the humans around with all the free foods and nap time. Let’s face it, cats are not just selfish, they are also the cruelest exploiter in the history of exploiting cuteness. And the only way to do that is advance in agriculture, technology and population, as we all learn from China.

So, the first thing the board of cats is going to do is crack a deal with Huawei. Well, look at that US, now even cats have access to your securities, what a shame. Surely, the hongmeng technology, which is so much faster than android (really, how faster could it be?) is going to help the cats rise above humans in unique and unimaginable ways.

The cats are also on the verge of being successful in agriculture and populating, by mixing the two together. A photographer recently went to Pawland and leaked photos of cats being sprouted out of trees, what an idea. The photographer is now the first prisoner of cats and as further the crisis is going, everybody’s blaming Julian Assange, he didn’t really do anything, but world leaders have just grown accustomed to blaming him.

Now, far from all the atrocities and raging wars, a man still walks his pet (guess what, a cat) every morning. They have a bond rarely seen. They went far away from all the trends to enjoy their holiday. Although he does get a lot of media attention for being an ex-world leader, but that barely disturbs his tranquility.

Fast forward five days later, and the world is in disarray. No cat and no human being is alive anymore due to mass destruction. No cat, but one. No human, but one, and, “They have a bond rarely seen”. Together they amp the agro-tech by a notch and start growing humans, cats and all other animals on trees. The world is again full of all the animals and peace is finally brought to the earth.

The man smiles to his cat and says, now I finally know why they gave me a Nobel Prize.



Shafayat Hossain

Founded a few businesses, hired a few people, and learned a few things worth sharing.